Fitness Ridge, I'm Comin' Home!

Read the fine print, dork. It expires NEXT year! 

It's nearly New Year's Eve which may be the catalyst. Not because of resolutions (which I seem to make everyday), but more about the $100 off coupon that expires tomorrow (whoops ... see caption).  Also, I spent a sedentary week following the beach trip, with maybe two trips to the gym. Yesterday's two-mile walk/run nearly put me in the morgue! I'm sick and tired of this! I do. I hurt. I don't. I do. I hurt. I don't .... blah, blah, blah.

Another motivator is the BLR FaceBook page. I love the inspiration those guys give me (as I sit on my arse). Still, it is inspirational. One dude recently lost 17 pounds in a week. True, he's a dude and dudes do that, but still!! 17!

Loser for Soup has also inspired ol' sedentary me. She planned on running a 5K a year ago, and now she's going to do it. Thanks, Loser.

I may be the most tenacious, most consistently NOT losing person I know.

A Little Christmas Cheer Me Up

So the no carb thing ... totally couldn't continue after a couple of days. Even though they were spaced out, by the time I tried the third day, I thought I'd lose my tuna. This just isn't the way my system works.

So I focused on my exercise. Two successive days of hitting it and I threw out my back. Dear LORD, what the heck??? Tons of Advil and days of walking on the beach and many, many stairs and I think I'll be ok.

Meanwhile, I found some sage advice on Hot In Cleveland, "Happy Fat".  Worth watching and so much fun.

May we all dance in 2012

Not Bad

I've done the carb-free days on Monday and Thursday and I have to say, not bad. Not fun, but doable. Though I really hate going without carbs, it prevented me from "just one bite" of so many things. (It is the Christmas season.) The cool thing is that I can tell myself I can have that tomorrow, just not today. Chances are, I don't have that same opportunity the next day. I added sprouted lentils with the health-building sauce that I picked up at a communal fat farm decades ago. That helped so much. I really need plants in my system. I'm assuming lentils are ok. They're above-ground.

My weigh-in last week wasn't as horrible as I was expecting. Not good, by any stretch, but way better than I'd imagined. I'll weigh every month. Less is just crazy with my bod.

I want to go back to the ridge, but this vacation is out. I think I'll set up a week in the spring. That will give me some time to train for the beatings. Time to play Ms. Claus ... go, go, go!

A Sane Person Would Just Give Up

I have got to be super stubborn. None of my great ideas were workable, but I'm NOT giving up, damn it.

Apple cider vinegar in lieu of acid reflux meds - BUZZ. I've not felt so much pain in a long while. And I took more than a tablespoon of vinegar prior to each meal. It helped my stomach, but the junk that made it to my esophagus must have burned holes up there. Dang, that was painful! I'll be researching this some more, because it seems intuitive that turning off the acid isn't good for weight loss.

Primal Body, Primal Mind or Visa Versa - BUZZ. Didn't buy it, fortunately. I can't go without ANY tubers or starches, ever. I really tried. Just can't. Makes me queezy. I will say that I did drop a lot of the carbs that I was eating.

So, what WILL I do? I hate this weight, but I feel so stuck. I love exercise, yet by the time I pack it in at work, I'm whipped. I am old, after all. Nonetheless, I have to apply what I know to my life. I'm keeping my daily thoughts on my calendar, to prevent a bogged-down blog.

UPDATE 5 MINUTES LATER: The universe does listen! The daily podcast that I listen to just had this nutritionist on who supported a recent trial of 3 groups. One cut calories to 1500/day, one cut to 600/day and no carbs twice a week, and the last ate regularly but cut out carbs (no tubers or starches) twice a week with NO other restrictions. Group 1 and 2 lost about 5 pounds (can't remember in how long). The last lost 9! I'm in! She further recommended doing it on Monday and Thursday because of our lifestyles and spacing it out. Here's her website: http://susansmithjones.com/  Let us pray, yeah?

Feeling Something Coming On

I know, it's been said before, but I think I may be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't explain why, but suddenly I'm hearing things that I believe in my core are true. So far, two things have enlightened me: my meds are PREVENTING weight loss and my whole idea of what is skinny food is wrong. Who knew?

#1: I'm going to work myself off of the acid reflux meds. I guess that, while they turn off the acid, the acid is necessary to break down our food. Without breaking it down, I'm not getting what I need, nutritionally, so I remain hungry. They say a teaspoon (God, I hope it was only a teaspoon) of Apple Cider Vinegar before each meal will work better than the meds. Here's to health! Starting the vinegar tomorrow.

#2:  I've already started to s-l-o-w-l-y wean myself from sugars and carbs. I only heard the author talk on the radio, but I'm buying her book, Primal Body, Primal Mind.

Meanwhile, a slow weaning was recommended, so I'm thinking that I'll only buy proteins and above-ground veggies (started that tonight) and finish off the carbs in the pantry. It will take awhile. That's ok ... I don't do withdrawals. In the long run, though, I'd much rather live without bread than stay fat. It's all good. She also said that, with the proper fats in my system, I'll be far less tired and more alert. More likely to actually GO to the gym!

For the record, I've been MIA because of a wonderful vacation on a cruise ship. You heard me. The all-you-can-eat-boat. Truth be known, I think that's where I started to put this together. I was forced to eat regular dinners (Versus my FAVORITE ... cereal. We're often addicted to the very foods we should avoid.). I felt so much less bloated after a week, even with dessert and wine. Hmmm, I said. That cereal may be posing a problem. D'ya think?

My exercise was off prior to the cruise. I pulled my subpectoral on the eliptical, then really did it in pilates. I haven't been to the gym, since. It's just starting to feel ok, though I'm still doing the Aleve.

53 Days Left to This New Habit

And ... not really 53 days, since I took the 3rd day off. Wed was Step class, the next day was Treading Thursday on the eliptical, and Friday I was immobilized. One leg still doesn't want to do anything (why not both, I wonder?). Today, however, I shall walk it off. I'm sure that will help.

The question is, is it legal to continue my countdown, if I took a day? Or, do I have to start over?

Day 4 or is it Day 3?

I'm so grateful to everyone who is undergoing the same learning process. Diane, at Loser for Soup, just posted some great inspiration. Gracias. And the Ridge alums on FB are great! This isn't a fix-it-and-be-done process, obviously. I'm good with that so long as I'm not alone.

1/4 of the Way to a New Habit ... Or, So I Thought!

Biggest Loser FB entry talked about it taking 6-8 weeks for something new to become a habit. I've had a GOOD 2 weeks on the exercising (see my calendar of honesty). Thank you BLR for reminding me that it will not feel normal for a while, yet.<< Oh, my GOSH!! Talk about honesty! I just tested the calendar link and saw what it looked like to the public, without the rest of my schedule filling-in every freaking minute of the days. There were my meager little attempts to move 2-3 days/week, just staring me in the face! Swear ... I really thought I was being good! Well, no wonder I have a problem!>>

If I had the cash, I'd check in at the Ridge for the 6-8 weeks and get this habit going! I probably shouldn't have done the Hawaii thing, but too late.

I'm off to find my abs ... then I'll be sure to record it on the calendar of smack-yourself-in-the-face-honesty.

Ok, So I'm Not an Inspiration

We all go through tough motivational ups and downs. I am marching on!

My decision to re-up at BLR lasted about a day. I really got myself out there and moving, thinking I had a long way to go to get myself back into enough shape to go get in shape. Then, a strange thing happened on the way to the registration button ... I realized I could do it myself, because I WAS doing it myself. I could put the money elsewhere.

Some friends and I are cruising Hawaii during Thanksgiving, instead. I can't wait, but here's the downside. I stopped moving! What the HECK is wrong with me? Was it knowing I wasn't going to get beat up at the ridge, or do I just always quit after a few days? Here's what I do know. I spend waaaaaaaay too much time on work, but not because I'm so conscientious, though I am. It's really because I love, love, love all things computer, so I just keep dawdling.

Who let HER in here?

GIVING UP?

Today I entertained a total giving up on this whole thing. I'm so incredibly tired everyday that I'm not moving and, because I'm not moving, I'm more tired. I would have to go to bed at 7:30 to get a full 8 hours, and I have an 8-hour body. Staying at work until 5ish every night isn't helping. I left by 3:30 today, but only because I knew I had the whole weekend to work. I don't know what I'm going to do about this.

I almost signed up for another week at BLR during Thanksgiving, and I still may. I NEED to get back into it! It's just so hard, when your head is foggy. Something has got to happen, quickly.

Grammi isn't very happy with herself.

... AND THEN THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR STARTED

Help! I've totally destroyed any good habits that were created this summer. The new year hit and I was back to getting up at 4, being constantly exhausted, and having appointments or meetings or simply class-related work until I couldn't think anymore. If I skipped the gym (usually), I beat myself up. If I went (RARELY), I was in horrible shape the next day due to lack of sleep. It wasn't just the hour spent working out, but that invigoration would keep me from crashing by 8pm. And so, another less than adequate night.

Four weeks into the new year and even the weekends have been solidly booked. Today, I managed to finish my grading and planning on Saturday. Mind you, I'm still in my jammies and the house is a wreck, but my school work is DONE. With a positive attitude, I'm going into tomorrow as a normal person who wants to move it in order to feel good. Our lovely weather has been over 100 and humid, but I'll set the alarm and get out there early. I really can't wait. Really!

My "message" for today was: All reform is from within however restricted your circumstances. Look inside yourself to see something not in order. Seek to right that. Honest. I didn't make that up. PS: Even weirder! My tired eyes came from a site titled "No Excuse Sunday".

I Only Look Chubby

You know what, guys? I think there was something to that hypnotic suggestion.

Whatever the reason, I'm feeling lithe on the inside. Of course, the mirror doesn't seem to get it, but I'm thinking that will come in time. Changes have been made.

I have a better attitude toward exercise; trying to change it up a lot. I even went to Zumba yesterday. Yes, I looked the fool, but fortunately, so did our teacher. She's learning it too and I actually thank the universe for that. Who cares if you're looking ridiculous along with everyone else? I'm actually disappointed if something pops-up to prevent me from doing my "pre-shower hour". This has actually happened, believe it or not. I know, it seems unlikely during a vacation break with no significant other, etc., but it has.

Food choices haven't always been Biggest Loser approved, but the quantity has been noticeably smaller. By choice, no less.

Bottom line is that, WHATEVER it is that's making me feel good, I do feel good.

A-ha Moment

So I was taking my big walk this morning (4.2 miles) and it was HARD! Everything hurt ... my foot bones, ankles, knees ... they all hurt. Really. This was ridiculous. I had just walked nearly 5 miles the weekend before, and they didn't hurt this much during that hike. Whatever ... I dragged my fat hiney onward. About 3/4 of the way through, I had a revelation!

Of course I hurt! I was lugging the equivalent of two, 30-pound sacks of flour around with me for over 4 miles! Two of them! Have a skinny person try and do that.

It helped. Still hurt, but I just told myself that it's going to be SO easy when that weight is off my feet.

Fun!

Okay, so moving the feet is fun! My new hiking organization (AVA.org) gave me an idea ... take the tin teepee to walks within 400 miles and do a little camping. This weekend, I walked Long Beach and camped in Newport. Not exactly roughing it, but it was something I wouldn't have normally done and I'm glad I did. My 10K was reduced to about a 7K because I miscalculated traffic on PCH. I should know better!

On the hypnosis front, one thing leads to another. I have since been led to a meditative download which gave me absolutely the BEST night's sleep I've ever had. I'm thinking the meditation will reinforce what I know I need to "adjust" in my misguided little neural-connections. The guy has all kinds of target areas, but so far, I'm just using the freebie.

I also ran into a book, Hypnotizing Maria, which just happens to be based on hypnosis and our belief systems, though it is fiction. Interesting read and I've always loved Richard Bach. He's kind of out there, if you haven't read him.

Here's to getting this all wrapped up and figured out!

When Nothing Else is Working ...

Here's a new one for you. I got hypnotized. Yup. Two visits to FR with one pound lost
each time = something else is afoot, here! So, yesterday I hightailed it to a hypnotist and traveled into my head.

I'm not giving details, because it's pretty personal. Something I would only share with the complete stranger who took me "down", ironically. Still, the content doesn't really matter. I'm thinking what does matter is that I did come up with something. Addressing that issue seems like a good idea, no matter what. Seems I've been holding onto a little something that became a huge something over time. Me. I can let go of the situation/guilt/blame because I'm a big girl, now. My little child did the best she could to protect me, but kids are so incapable of coming up with good solutions. I need to journal this, privately. Here's to healing!

Back From Vacation

Ok, so I semi-fell off the wagon. Ironically enough, my biggest blunders happened at my parents' house. Bless their hearts. They mean well. And I just fall right into the "oh, what the heck" trap so easily. It's easier than explaining why "just one" doesn't work for me. And they have started eating healthy foods, too. It's just that they also eat the sugar/fat crap. I didn't help matters when I bought my 90 year old mom a birthday cake and ice cream. Just call me a total junkie!

I did do some walking, however (yea, me), just not enough. The walks at the parents' were full of animal experiences. I don't know why, but they would all run right up to me (within 3 ft!), look me in the eye, then scamper off. A deer, squirrel, and bird all wanted to be my friend. Swear! Glad they don't live near bears! The

Nike+gps was a huge motivator again. As for the rest of the trip, I was trapped on a train for 4 days with fake food and no chance to really move, and I did a few walks with my son and grandson.

I really need to get to the gym! I actually WANT to. Maybe it's because I don't want to unpack and clean ... you think?

Woohoo!

I am feeling sooooo very good about moving. Tawny posted an epiphany (via Paige) which hit me, too: Athletes train to compete, not to lose weight. While I'm not quite athletic, that IS what I want. I want to train to make a healthy, strong body, not to "lose weight". The weight will come off as a result. Thank you, Tawny and Paige!

My latest favorite thing is the Nike+gps app for my iPhone. Please. It's totally fun! While you're "running" (that's what they think I'm doing, but I'm still a walker), you get to hear cheers every time a friend hits "like" on FaceBook. It may sound nutty, but I really live for those cheers. Also, a voice comes on to tell you when you hit mile markers and when you exceed your longest "run". Also, when you're finished, you get a complete report on distance, pace, time, and a map showing your route. Are you kidding me? It's awesome! And it's free ... at the moment. I sense a fee coming in the future.

Pilates whipped my large bottom this morning, but it is by far the most needed class I'm taking. I believe I may find this core of which they speak. It's in there, somewhere. And the wonderful stretches you get. Ahhhh ...

OK, kids ... let's go get 'em!

Maybe, Just Maybe ...

This may be it! I may have found the food solution. Of course, I've said that a bijillion times before, but this time ... maybe ... NEVER BE FAT AGAIN is sort of a cheesy title (though it is anti-cheese), but this guy isn't an "author". He is a biochemist. Someone who really understands what is happening in our bodies.

I'm not even a third of the way into it, but I'm making huge changes, already. It's drastic, to be sure. It means admitting that what we've been doing hasn't worked. That may sound like a no-brainer, but it's something I'm really having to grapple with. He has had the smarts to put the actual beginner's diet plan at the back of the book, to be followed only after the reader has read the whys and why nots. I do keep peeking back there, and it scares the holy heck out of me, but then I quickly flip back to the page I'm on and pretend I'll never "have" to eat like that.

I've already started down the organic path. Just like the day that I put down my diet cokes and never looked back (YEARS ago, now), organic eating simply became something I wanted to do. Right there, I'm sort of in his camp and a little more easily convinced that what he says is true. But, to go 100% by his plan ... that just sends shivers down my spine. Still, I know I will.

As if a new mindset has just taken over, little changes are happening. My breakfast oatmeal was already a good idea, yet I was cooking it in the microwave, thus chemically altering it. Who knew? I didn't want to drag pots and pans out to use the stove, then it occurred to me that oats don't HAVE to be cooked. A friend mentioned soaking oats in a blender when juicing for a creamier taste. So I soaked them in their spices, honey, and almond milk for 20 minutes. Dang! It was good! And even less work. This, I like.

The author's premise is that we're fat because our bodies are not being fed. The crap that we put into it is either not food at all, genetically modified so that it only looks like food, or nutritionally destroyed by preservatives and/or cooking. He was supposed to have died years ago, so he must have a point.

Loving my daily exercise! Check my calendar for the new classes I'm taking :) I look hysterical in Latin dancing, but there's only one way out of this, so I'll take it!

Greatest Gifts from the Ridge

The Ridge just keeps on giving. I check the FaceBook page of alums nearly every day and I get the very best motivation from those entries. I feel so ... normal. It's easy (in a manner of speaking) to do it at FR, but when you come home, the old habits and limitations just pop right back up. Thank you, everyone for easing my guilt. I have a tip, though.

The 10K (which was meant to be just a 5K, but my joi de vivre took over) was courtesy of a cool group that everyone should know about. Maybe you do, but I sure didn't. I was going to post this on the message board, but I agree with a previous poster and didn't want to advertise other things on FR's page.

ANYWAY, this organization is literally everywhere, no matter where you live. It's the American Volkssport Assn. (http://www.ava.org/). Here's the California listing of events .

There are big ol' walks, like the one I took last weekend, and smaller, local ones more often. I'm going to my first local meeting tonight, so I'll know more, then. They even have walks (year round walks) you can do any time you want. The "walk box" contains directions and points of interest. These are scattered everywhere. I'm excited about this. As a single gal, hiking with the bears, all alone isn't exactly thrilling. But this way, they know you're out there, where you're going, and expecting you to return. Besides, you meet others on the walk and can walk with them, as I did last time.

I'm just beyond excited about this summer. Again, thanks to the Fitness Ridger who commented that she just starts over every ... single ... day. I don't know why, but that has meant more to me than anything. Check my calendar (right side). I'm actually moving a whole lot more than I was.

Starting Over All Summer

Summer vacation: The goal is to move it every single day in some way. I wish I could remember who, but some brilliant woman on the Fitness Ridge FaceBook page recently said that she starts over every-single-day. EVERY day. Powerful. She has finally come to terms with that and has gotten it together. I realized that I'm not a loser for all of my start-overs, but I will lose if I keep starting over. Just keep doing it.

So this week has been different. Over the Memorial Day weekend, I easily got myself through the front doors of my new gym for the first time for a little treadmilling and eliptical. The next day, I flopped around on my mat in pilates, and on Monday it was water aerobics. Oh, yeah. I've got this.

Summer vacation officially started today and oy, did I kick it off! I went from couch warmer to a 10K at 7,000' msl. Holy cow! I'm really, really sore, but tomorrow I plan on starting over ... again. :)

I'M EXCITED!

First of all, let me thank everyone who is on the FR FaceBook page for the motivation. I love checking in with you all once a day.

Second, and here's the fun part, I'm just 1 week away from having NO EXCUSES! School's out a week from today for almost two months. This is an opportunity to get myself back together! Truthfully, my excuses stop today, because the few days we have left are minimum days and I'm certainly not busy with lessons/grading/editing. If I can develop exercise habits over 2 months, I PRAY that they will stick when I go back to work. Here we go, ladies and gents, it is on!

My motivators of the week:

Did they not look FABulous?









I've ordered a promising book: Never Be Fat Again, written by a biochemist from MIT who was told he would die in weeks, over 30 years ago. I'll let you know how it goes.

Off to talk a late walk!
"If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again."
– Flavia Weedn

Again

You know, the neat part about being human is that we CAN start over. Again and again and again ... And here I go. It has been so impossibly difficult to get to the gym after work. I'm up at 4, at work by 7ish, and by the time the last kiddle walks out the door, I'm wiped flipping out!

I decided that I wasn't motivated because I really hate my gym. It's only $12 a month, but it's also trashy/dirty and crowded. So I signed up at the newer, nicer one that is also closer to me. Yeah, that was 2 weeks ago. I haven't been back. Clearly, it wasn't the ambiance, it was the slug. Me.

Now, in some sort of self defense, I've had this relentless cold for the past two weeks, too. Not able to remember whether it was above or below the neck that meant no exercise, I just stayed away for both.

I need to develop a new habit, starting tomorrow, of course. Granted, if I don't quit working until 4:30 or 5, then I'm obviously going to be too pooped to treadmill. I'm going to start leaving at 2:45 (actually our time to go). The year is ending and I shouldn't have too many "projects" holding me in the classroom.

Ok, you sluggy old broad: Here goes another stab at it!

I ❤ the Eliptical

That's a small lie. I really hated DOING it, but I have never ... I say, never felt so good as I did during the rest of the night. I don't know why it affected me like that, but I've never carried the WOW - I REALLY MOVED feeling with me throughout the night. That was really cool. It will take some getting used to, though. I was hugely sore!

Tonight, I did our weight machines and bikes. It wasn't as good, but I'm sticking to my guns.

Did you see Biggest Loser this week? That Courtney has my vote for president! What a marvelous attitude that 22 year old has! I'll be rewinding that one a few more times. She left the ranch with grace and pride. And she looks SO much better than she does in this video, but it's kind of fun.



A-ha! Here's the one I really wanted. No video, but more current:

Getting My Groove Back

We have been assured that radiation over here will be negligible, the Japanese are piecing their lives back together, and our weather has been fantastic. I can't help but move it.

Colorado Pedestrians

I started walking again in Colorado, last week. The fact that I couldn't even breathe (altitude) really bothered me. Now that I'm home again, I'm determined to get back in shape. I sure hope it sticks. By the way ... LOVE those Skechers.

Overwhelmed

I'm not going to whine. God knows too many people are far more worthy of doing that right now. I'm not going to make excuses. Nothing is really stopping me from being the best I can be. Nothing, that is, but me.

However, in all truth, I cannot focus on my body right now. My mind and heart are too preoccupied. I know that long walks would help me with my thoughts, but I'll admit that I'm a bit nervous about spending extra time outside in the rainy weather with radiation, fresh from Japan, in the atmosphere.

Now is not about me. Not today, anyway.

Peace out.

Just Do It

Wow. I was all fired up just 11 days ago and what did I do with that? I walked. Yeah, that's something, but hey ... reality check. Bless those little Sketchers, though. The walking is much less painful than it was. I guess that jerky doctor had some good in him.


I haven't been a complete sloth. I've been walking and that's a baby step. Now that I've read my fellow bloggers' updates, I'm inspired to move it up a notch, again. I just love those people. They have the same issues I do, yet they handle them so well. How can an old broad be on this planet for so long and not "get it"? Diana has started over almost as often as I have, yet she just gets back into the groove without looking back. I love her idea about doing a Fitness Ridge week at home. Brilliant. Shelli set goals that were doable, yet found herself going beyond what she really thought she could do. Wow.

Walking week is over. BodyMedia is getting strapped back on ... well, as soon as I get off FaceBook, that is.

I'm Wrong :) Yea!

Thank God for fellow bloggers. So, I thought I was the only one who could pump and sweat for a week at the ridge and lose one whole pound. Shelli showed me I was wrong. REALLY wrong. She had a similar experience and, I dare say, worked a whole lot harder than I did.  I've been sniffling for the 2 months since being home (usually in a seated position) and she has gone to the gym. She has lost a total of 21.5 pounds. And I .... well, didn't.

I'm fired up! 

I Will NOT Quit!

The disappointment I felt this week is overwhelming, but it won't get me. I was waiting so long for this appointment with the foot doc. I just knew he'd have a solid answer for the solution to the pain I feel whenever I walk.

Not only did he offer nothing more than Skechers Shape Ups, but he was incredibly ignorant and rude. When I said that it was nearly impossible to hike because of the pain, he (no lie) actually said, "Hiking? You don't look like ... "

At this, I butted in with, "Watch out!"

Dr Jerkface

"... well, it's just that you don't have the body type to be a hiker."

I assured him that I love hiking, but it hurts so much.

"Oh, you like to hike, but you don't hike."

Honest. This is a respected (by others), educated person. I've so had it with idiots. I can't tell you how much that hurt my very core. The dismissive attitude of jerks who have not had to deal with weight issues needs to be addressed in HELL. Please, God, let there be a hell. But, before I further damage my own karma, I'll go with the upside of this.

My feet are evidently getting old, along with the rest of me. I'm 60. It's time to realize that I can't do what I did at 30. However, I refuse to throw in any towels. I'm going to make this body work for me, not against me. What Dr. Jerkface (aka: Owen McIvor, Redlands, California ... just in case anyone wants to avoid him) did for me was to make me realize that nobody out there has the answers for me. I'm in this alone. I'm smart. I'll figure it out.

So, issues are: arthritis in the feet, knees without cartilage, need for more of a calorie-burn, time constraints (demanding job), and a food plan that I can live with forever and that aids in flushing fat.

FEET: Starting with Dr. Jerk's suggestion (assuming he knows something about feet), I ordered some Skechers. I had to get a larger size, because Skechers-folk don't believe that fatties with uber-wide feet would want to walk. Just as there are dress designers who think that petites can't get fat. Meanwhile, I'll just continue to load up on Advil.

KNEES: Continue to modify yoga and do more muscle-building around the crunchy things.

THE BURN: Really get the heart rate up while I'm doing stuff like bikes (not on my feet). In fact, I need to find a way to kick it up everyday. I'll investigate. I believe that I have rarely registered "vigorous" activity on my Body Media because I pretty much have to hold back in the foot work. Upper body vigorous is what I need.

FOOD: I'm sorry sweet Emily (nutritionist at Fitness Ridge), but your nutritional, 1200 cal meal plans just don't do it for me. When I weigh into the ridge on a Sunday night (with water bloat and full day's food) and out the next Sunday morning (before breakfast, even) and experience a big one-pound loss the first week and three pounds the second time, last January, I'm thinking it's maybe not so much about 1200 calories. Hell if I know what it IS about, but I'll figure this one out, as well. My net loss, by the by, was one pound this last time, also, going by my own scales before and after. I'm reading the Reader's Digest version of Why We Get Fat... , which I've heard good things about.

Before I die, I'll figure this out. Period.

It's a Conspiracy, I Tell You!

So I've been patiently waiting for my appt. next week with the foot doctor.  My exercise has been less than stellar as a result. Though I can work up a good "glow" on the bikes and machines, I'm averaging twice a week. That isn't going to cut it. In the back of my mind, I keep saying that once I get medical help, it will all be okay. That was, until the convergence of my three or four different calendars took me by surprise.

It turns out that doctor day just happens to be like the most incredibly jam-packed day I've had in years! I'm NOT giving up my appointment, though. No way! So far, I've been able to juggle and jostle, but it's going to be quite the trick.

Breakthrough Day

To start with, this was a downer week because I realized that I was going to have to keep off my feet until the doc sees them. I hit the bikes and machines and cut out the snacks. Even though they were healthy snacks, I typically run about 300 calories over my daily goal.

Today was awesome! I found out I could live without those 300 calories/day. Who knew?

This one is tacky, but it's the honest to God truth. I spent the day scooting off to the ladies'. It sounds crazy, but I swear my body has finally simply decided to let go of this fat. We'll see.

I also found out that I actually could stay awake until the 5:30 yoga class. I always try, but by Fridays, all I can think of doing is getting home and crashing. Not tonight. Who knew?

While in yoga class, I discovered that, although I haven't been there in a couple of months, I was better at it today than I'd been before. I actually had a bit of balance. (BLR stretch classes, maybe?) Who knew?

Tonight, I sit before you with a fresh case of  optimism. I watched my recorded BL show, where the doctor told the girl on the pink team that she had 58% bmi ... worse than mine, even! He said she was just going to have to suck it up and devote 90 min/day, 6 days/week to working out for the rest of her life. Revelation. Someone has it worse than me. I got right off my pity pot, right there. I may have to do an hour a day, forever. Oh, well. Pink girl has to do 1.5 hours. I've got this. Who knew?

We shall see ...

Time Management

Nothing like wasting an entire day at the computer to make one realize that the problem lies in the butt-factor. I did get up and walk for an hour but, other than that brief move, the rest of the day was in the tootsies-up position. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.

Hi, my name is Grammi, and I'm a computer-addict.

Next step: Find something that will push me out of the chair. If I say I can only eWork a certain amount of time per day, I'll just blow it off and continue working. Since this is where I seem to live, both at home and at work, I'm trying out a new gadget for my iGoogle page. It automatically sets for an hour at a time. The plan: An hour on/An hour off.  This is hopeful for home.

At school, I plan on absolutely doing the things that must be done onsite, first. Then, when my reminder pops up to go to the gym, I'll be able to continue what is left at home, on the computer.

My weekly weigh-in showed a big 0.2 lb loss this WEEK. Not day. Week. On the why-not-take-the-bright-side, it was a loss. However, I'll admit that I am saddened, because I really thought that the week following 7hr/day exercise would have revved-up my metabolism.

Last night was actually pretty funny. I was feeling sorry for myself and, because I'd been online for so long, I was suddenly ravenous. So I hit the Fresh & Easy, thinking I'd get something comforting and to heck with "smart eating". I was staring at the convenience foods when I heard, "Hey, you!". There was my hairdresser, to whom I had just raved about BLR the day before. Of course, I couldn't admit to blowing my plans, so we both wound up with Eat Well items (their healthy choices). It was actually very good and I didn't miss the more fattening stuff at all. Life is funny like that. Yeah, it is.

Regrouping

What to do?

One week after returning to reality and oh, my God! What to do? Work consumed my time and I only got to the gym twice, I think. Then, the water main broke at school and we had to use porta potties; so naturally, I drastically reduced my water consumption. The food part wasn't so hard, until tonight, when I just felt so wiped-out from 6-7 hours of sleep a night, all I wanted to do was eat! I'm not giving up, I'm just saying I need to regroup. I need to figure this out!

Send Grammi Back to BLR!

If you register for a week at Biggest Loser Resort and mention my name, we'll both get $100 off! I'm determined to return for at least two weeks at one time, but I'm not a wealthy Grammi. I need all the help I can get. If you help me get back there, you'll be helping yourself, too! It's a win-win!

I left this morning with a heavy heart, but a lighter body. How many "girls" (I realize that I'm stretching that word) can say they were measured by the Biggest Loser, Sam? Whoohoo! Speaking of that cutie-patootie, one of the fellow guests quoted his words of encouragement to her. I hope I get it right: 

You can't change how something began, but you can change the way it ends. - Sam

Before I even got to my house, I stopped at the grocery and picked up the goodies that would make me successful at home, as Essara taught us. BLR made my lunch for me, so all I had to worry about was dinner and tomorrow :)  I'm good to go.

I will be back.

This Journey Has Just Started

Today started with my last hike to Pt. Dume. I put myself in a group of studs which, of course, meant that I took up the rear. Our sweet guide had to stick with me. He wouldn't even let me just wait for the power-packers to climb back up the hill. Instead, we went exploring and wound up "hiking" the shi-shi neighborhoods of Malibu. Even at that, my feet were screaming at me on the way back. I will find out what causes this foot pain. When I do, watch out, power-packers! However, they did hurt, so I opted for the pool class instead of circuit.

I said goodbye to the grounds today by taking pictures of everything and having a wonderful pedicure. Our goodbye dinner was hysterically funny. There's some real comedic talent here.

This place isn't a resort. As so many people expressed tonight, it's a safe place to learn about yourself. Both Malibu and Ivins do that. So, back to my original promise to say which one is best ... the best one is the one you go to. Because going is the key. I'll be back.

Frisky Friday!

What a difference a couple of days make, eh? I want to stay another week! It may take me a few years to save up, but I'm going to go for at least two weeks in a row next time. Today was the first time I really wanted to put everything I had into each workout. Well, I take that back. I always wanted to, but the aches and pains prevented it. I've finally worked the kinks out and I'm rarin' to go, but there's only a half day left. Oh, the sadness!

So today's hike was a great canyon nearby. Creeks, rich dark earthy smells, and a waterfall. Oh, yeah, and a heck of a workout.

Following-up with Tina's stretch class was pure heaven. I couldn't believe how great I felt after. Then we had circuit with the bouncy Meagan, the fantabulous Cardio Disco with crazy John, and a final Meagan killer pool class, followed by hot-tubbing and dinner (turkey burgers :). Oh so much fun!

Treading Thursday!

MUCH better today, thank you. Whew! Glad that fog lifted.

Today started with a 6am core class, then breakfast, then we were off to the races. Our hike at Pt. Dume was beyond beautiful. The final leg of the BL 10k was here. My finish wasn't quite so pretty, but we're working on it.

The classes were all good, especially "gym" class, where we played kickball. Honestly, at first I almost opted for the pool, but I'm not a fan of getting in and out of a swimsuit twice in a day, so I dragged my old bod out on the field. Surprise ... it was really fun. I even got the final out. Yeah, but it was my out, not theirs. You may be asking why there's a ferris wheel in the outfield. I guess it's for the same reason there's a merry-go-round by the barn.

Lunch was great. First, I found out that there was miraculously a sudden opening for an evening reflexology appointment. Now that I'm totally addicted, I'm going to have to take a 12 Step Program to withdraw from them. Then, Sam joined our table for a fabulous conversation. He's such a great inspiration. After lunch, Essara gave us some excellent tips for sticking to our guns when we break out of here.


Pool was a trip. I never knew you could do that with a noodle! Next was "ball", which was fun. The body beatings ended with Treading Thursday, where Ursela kicked our butts. I found out she was in Lion King, my favorite musical of all time. Impressed!

My evening wound down with my spa appointment. I never asked how long it was, so when she said we were done, I assumed it was only 30 min. I must have fallen asleep, because it was the full 50. Hope I didn't snore.

Hump Day

I'm pooped. I'm blah. I'm hurting. Hard to give an objective view of the day when I'm just not feeling it. The bones in my feet feel like they're broken. Hiking was next to unbearable, although our explorations of Paramount Park were pretty. Classes (stretch, circuit, kickboxing, mountain, H2O intervals) were fine, but I just didn't want to be there. Sorry ... I'm stuck on a downer.

Wheeha!

LOVED today! The hike was my speed (slow), skies were crispy blue, and CharmLee Park was beyond incredible.  Loved, loved, loved it. I'm a huge fan of the stretch class before heading out. I'm sure that's making a giant difference in my experience this time.

Classes were outstanding, too. Super trainers. Then, my foot massage .... I'm hooked. My arthritic little tootsies are sooooo grateful. Dinner was sublime. Shepard's Pie and chocolate covered strawberries. Incredible! I'm up late because of the premiere of Biggest Loser, which was filmed here, for the team of the unknown trainers. Two of our guests were here then, so it was fun to get the skinny on what happened while they were here.

Fun, fun day. Oh, yeah ... and a 1680 calorie deficit to boot.

Best Monday, Yet

Ok, so I've only had two of them at FR ... Ivins and Malibu, but today didn't suck.

• Malibu offers a stretch class before breakfast, which is really nice, but crowded, so get there early!
• The Assessment Hike was a terrible let-down. Rainy, muddy, and cold I could have dealt with. I had a brilliant idea in Utah, to simply ask people what they felt their fitness/hiking level was so that dorks like me wouldn't be stuck with the jocks. They loved the idea. Last month, I received an email which actually asked for our self-assessment. Did they use them? Of course not! I was one cranky old lady as my young, fit group galloped ahead of me immediately. How stupid. The way they do this is just stupid and it just pisses off people like me who are tremendously challenged. Grrrrrr. On the upside, as Jen used to say, when you're last, you get your own, personal guide. Thank you, Essra, for being an entertaining and understanding chaperone. I really enjoyed our conversations. Now, put me on the slow bus, please.
• The campus is very pretty. Lovely, winding, wooden walks from the lodge to the pools/gyms/cabins. The pools are multi-colored at night and warm during the classes. (It's the air temp that is unbearable)
• I actually enjoyed doing Mountain today. Probably because I'm more aware of what to expect. Circuits was good, too (Yes, Shelli, Sam is here as a trainer. He's such a cutie pie.) And John taught a really great class on using your core.
• I'm loving not having to go to the lectures this time, though everyone says they're great. I just need my down time here and there. It's who I am.
• Food is great. Every bit as yummy and creative as Ivins.

Bottom line: I'm thrilled about my Monday, compared to the first time, when I thought I would surely die. Five to go!

Bags Are UNpacked ... I'm Ready to Go!

My God, am I really doing this again?! I have to say that it does feel like home, even though we're far from Ivins. Absolutely pouring down rain from the time I hit the LA County line. I should have taken a pic of the campus in the rain, but I don't think my flash would have been powerful enough. It is DARK. And we're hiking in the morning, of course.

As promised, I will throw out comparisons from my perspective (reminder: I can be a cranky old lady):

• Signage is horrible, really tacky, but I'm guessing they're still being made since Malibu is so new.
• Check-in was fun in that I got to meet fellow guests, but took two hours. Meanwhile, darkness set in so by the time we had to find the parking lot and our rooms, the rain and dark made it impossible to see where you were. I had to return to the front desk and have the valet guide me to my "unit".
• Units are cozy and fresh. Not as spacious as Ivins, but I was paying more as a single in a double room there. That skinny armoire in the picture is the closet. I filled it just with coats and sweatshirts.

Can't wait to see this place in the light. It looks like it may be a lovely setting. Ok ... I'm EXCITED to hit the trails. Yeah, that's the ticket ... excited ... really ...

My Bags Are Packed, I'm Ready to Go ...

I guess I have to admit that I'm excited. Nervous, yet looking forward to kicking up my motivation. I've packed like I'm going for months. It's all those layers that I'm going to need in this ridiculous weather of ours. We Californians just aren't that hardy.

Did four miles, yesterday, on fairly level, paved surfaces. The trails will be the trick. This was a beautiful day to do it, though. Trying another route today which should be about as long.

The forecast isn't quite so good for Mon/Tue hiking. I saw someone's hiking shoes, caked in mud, from last week at FR. If they can do it, so can I.