Yep, It Works

My altered expectations (just strive to improve) worked! Scales said -5 pounds. Groovy, groovy, groovy! Not only that, but I slightly changed my set workout plans so that they made more sense, and it was way easier to do what I'd set out to do each day! Not only that, but I was thinking I'd do the gym at 4:30 am once a month (trainer days), but I actually liked it! I'm in there twice a week at the crack of nothing and bam! ... done for the whole freaking day! Not only that, but I made a little Google app/form for my trainer's circuit and it's so darned easy to do and follow. Not only that, but I got to "spend" my extra WW points last night and I did it by just eating healthy food!

I'm pleased with myself on so many levels this week! It's a joy to have shed the weird attitude I was portraying. I have no reason to hide the fact that I really love my life. Therapy will have to uncover why it was that I was doing that, but in the meantime, it is done!

About having a trainer: SO happy I did that! It is too tempting for me to jump into things I used to do, decades ago, and limp away with an injury. She has set out a plan for me to ease into things again. I can "feel" it, but it isn't a debilitating pain. It's perfect. Makes me actually look forward to going into the gym again.

Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead!

Yesterday was a lucky day. I had a mirror held up to my face from start to finish.

First, I was up and in the gym at 4:30. That's AM, folks. Good thing, right there, but it gets better. I met with my new trainer (yes, another good thing!) and, as she was asking me questions about my eating and exercising habits, I found myself telling her these great things: I eat healthy foods, only ... I walk 2 miles almost everyday ... I'm doing Weight Watchers ... etc. Now that I think about it, she must have been cracking up inside, hearing this from a large bodied woman. She's very nice, though, and didn't let on that I was a walking anomaly. She just suggested that I change my thinking to positive expectations. Wow. I don't have a positive expectation? No, I guess I don't, come to think of it. But wait, folks, we're not done.

Later, in my FaceBook group, someone was begging for help because she had gotten so off-track with her weight-loss. I simply replied that, oh well, some of us will ALWAYS be working on it ... just get back on track again. Now, I was thinking that's a nice reply. Really. I was. I got schooled by the next guy who basically told me I'd never lose if I didn't quit thinking that way.

The day culminated in my therapist's office (a scheduled visit, not because of FaceBook) where she pretty much told me I didn't come across as a positive, happy person. What??? Me??? Of course, I'm in there for a specific issue which isn't particularly happy, so it does make some sense that I wouldn't be a bubbly bundle of joy when we talk. Still, she doesn't see the positive me at all? Mirror, mirror, on the wall ...

I have lost the power of positive thinking! When did that happen? I used to have it (and I used to be thinner!). Somehow, I've conned myself into thinking I'm still upbeat, happy, and quite the optimist, when I'm actually portraying a whole different image. Why are we the last to know these things about ourselves?

Goals! I'm setting improvement goals (therapist's suggestion) that aren't locked into a number, but just saying that I will improve in the healthy areas. I'm resetting my mental image of my physical me. I'm NOT going to succumb to a life of dieting. This is a fix-it period and then I will continue with healthy eating, but the point-counting, etc. won't be necessary. Well, that's a relief, right there!

The universe speaks to us. Sometimes it takes three messengers to get our attention, but it does speak. Goodbye, negativity!