Sunday, April 28, 2013

Who the Hell Am I?

I have two reunions coming up. High school and college. I wanted to lose at least 40 pounds; more would have been better. Yeah, well, the first one is a week from now. I may have gained in that time. What a freak.

Then, last night, it occurred to me that my weight doesn't matter ONE bit. What was I hoping for? A hook-up? At 62??? Dang. I don't even know what I'm about, do I? Reality check: I'm me, not an 18 yr old wanna be. I'm going to go to those reunions looking forward to focusing on THEM, not me. I can't wait to see what they have been doing, not whether they're fat or skinny. And it is HIGHLY unlikely that there would be any hook ups. Besides, if some cute old fart WOULD have hooked up with a skinny me, but not the current me, who wants him? So, it's all good.

Back to the topic of my blog. (Btw, I realize nobody reads this, but I like to think I'm talking to someone.). ANYway, I do still want a thinner body for comfort and health. But no more beating myself up. I'm going to like me from now on. I'm a neat person, really.

So starting at the basics: why do I over eat? Because I am a #1 member of the Clean Your Plate Club. Have been, for more than half a century. I'm going back to that original programming and overriding the data by leaving a little on the plate. Whenever I do, I take a picture of it and upload it to my photos.  Here's what is unbelievable. There aren't many pictures! It is SO hard to do! Logic tells me that that one little bite won't fill me up. It's insignificant. Still, I either blow right through the whole serving or consciously eat it because I just can't leave it. That is some strong programming right there. I understand how the brain works, so I know that persistence will win. I just hope I live long enough.