Seriously!

I'm starting AGAIN. Not focusing on every little moment, but starting by beginning my day with a walk. It's easy now, because I'm on vacation, but I intend to continue when work starts up again. I know that will be tough ... tough.

I don't want to jinx it, but I'm going the right direction

Just an update. I'm up to 0.8 mile walks and I've lost a few pounds. Nothing earth shattering, but going the right way. 

That's it. 

I Gave Up Until Today

Like someone on a forum said, starting over sucks, but that's what we do. We can't just give up. 

It helps that my tendinitis is much better. I simply couldn't have walked until now. I also went back to a good shoe. I hate shoes. Probably why I got tendinitis in the first place. I tried to walk at one point in my Skechers with the concave soles. That didn't work. It made both of my ankles scream with pain. I have thrown those away. 

I walked tonight after dark. We're in the 90's already during the day. I walked 0.5 miles. Why do we plural a fractional part and drop the s for a full mile? Something to ponder. ANYway, less than a mile and my breathing was labored. Gross. 

But it's a start. Again. 

Thank You for Checking In

No, I'm not dead. Just obese. But I'm back and I'm shocked to see that somebody has been checking on me. Wow. You're doing more than I have been. Thanks for that.

I've been saying that I'm sick and tired of dieting and worrying about my weight. Today, a FB friend started a group for a 90-day challenge. Initial reaction: <<shudder>>  Then I realized that this chick had a body I would love to have, yet she was going on yet another diet. It isn't just poor little (ok, not so little) me who has to deal with this constantly. I'm not so special. Suck it up, buttercup.

So now that I've had to face facts (yes, doctor appt), I'm on a mission. Heavier than EVER and the ankle is still out of commission. That isn't going to stop me, dammit. Starting now. Ok, tomorrow. I need to shop, first.

I've decided on the paleo diet. Here's why: I've already sort of started going that direction, anyway. I've made myself eat produce with everything. If I wanted chocolate (yeah, that will stop), I made myself eat chocolate chips with orange slices. If I wanted bread, I made myself pair it with humus (sort of produce). It's going to be HARD to cut the bread and chocolate out of this equation. Really hard. I don't have a choice, though. This has GOT to stop.

Generally, I say that I'll work into something gradually as I finish up the stuff in the cupboard. I simply cannot throw food away. It's just more than my Scotch side can bear. Therefore, I will pack it all up and store it in the garage. When I get my smokin'hot bod (or at least something closer to healthy), I can make a rational decision about whether to unpack the crap or donate it to the homeless.

Alright, folks. Here we go. Step one: Get up.

Another Zig in my Zag

So round 485 .... my ankle gave out when we went back to school. Hurts like heck. Pulled muscle or tendon or something. ANYway, my 2 miles a day came to a grinding halt. Did I make it better by going to the gym and riding bikes? Nope. I let the hours of the day get to me and didn't do a DAMN thing. Nothing. Nada.

So I got myself yet another gym membership and hired a trainer. I went once and our schedules conflicted for the next 2 weeks. Did I go in on my own? Hell no. The busy days, you know.

So I met up with her again, yesterday. After the session we worked on our calendars. It isn't easy, but we got in at least 1 meeting a week, usually 2, even if they were back to back. I am hoping that's a good sign. I do mean to do this. Really.

NOT Giving Up!

This is a journey. A very zig zaggy journey, but a journey. I just took a whopping walk around the block. Wow. It's still a good 90 degrees at 9pm, but I really quit because of the danged pulled muscle in my ankle. I thought it was healed, but nope. 

So here I sit on my porch. Argh! I was inspired tonight, though, by Janelle on Sister Wives. Weighing in at 271 pounds, she is going at getting fit. Her trainer threw the scales away (very dramatic tv) and told her to quit fixating on the numbers. Now she just works at getting stronger. She credits her mentors. 

My therapist is one mentor. We're starting to work on my attitude. I like where we're going. 

I want to find a physical mentor, too. My last trainer was a disaster. I should have dumped her, but what is done is done. I need a trainer who is willing to do what Janelle's does. I also need advice about what do do with pulled muscles and how to work around them. I'm going to find him/her. 

Ha! I love it!

It has dawned on me that I can let go of the scale. I've been fat for most of the last 60 years. It's ok. With that, I have turned my attention to getting my body to move easily. 

I'm walking twice a day, just one mile at a time. It's not a major deal. I have a hard time talking myself out of it. By going in the early morning and after sundown, the temps are low and the whole experience is actually enjoyable. I won't win any marathons, but I feel a ton better than I did. 

I've also given up worrying about wearing a bathing suit. Now, I don't want to scare people, but I actually jumped in and played in the creek at our last camping adventure. It was so much fun. I realized how much I've missed my whole life because of that false front I was putting out there. (PS: when I walked up the fairly steep trail back to camp, I was actually doing it easily.)

Vacation ends this week, and I really hope I keep it up. The plan is to dress and walk before leaving, then do it again before bed. Seems doable. When things cool off, I can get the pm one in sooner.