A Sane Person Would Just Give Up

I have got to be super stubborn. None of my great ideas were workable, but I'm NOT giving up, damn it.

Apple cider vinegar in lieu of acid reflux meds - BUZZ. I've not felt so much pain in a long while. And I took more than a tablespoon of vinegar prior to each meal. It helped my stomach, but the junk that made it to my esophagus must have burned holes up there. Dang, that was painful! I'll be researching this some more, because it seems intuitive that turning off the acid isn't good for weight loss.

Primal Body, Primal Mind or Visa Versa - BUZZ. Didn't buy it, fortunately. I can't go without ANY tubers or starches, ever. I really tried. Just can't. Makes me queezy. I will say that I did drop a lot of the carbs that I was eating.

So, what WILL I do? I hate this weight, but I feel so stuck. I love exercise, yet by the time I pack it in at work, I'm whipped. I am old, after all. Nonetheless, I have to apply what I know to my life. I'm keeping my daily thoughts on my calendar, to prevent a bogged-down blog.

UPDATE 5 MINUTES LATER: The universe does listen! The daily podcast that I listen to just had this nutritionist on who supported a recent trial of 3 groups. One cut calories to 1500/day, one cut to 600/day and no carbs twice a week, and the last ate regularly but cut out carbs (no tubers or starches) twice a week with NO other restrictions. Group 1 and 2 lost about 5 pounds (can't remember in how long). The last lost 9! I'm in! She further recommended doing it on Monday and Thursday because of our lifestyles and spacing it out. Here's her website: http://susansmithjones.com/  Let us pray, yeah?

Feeling Something Coming On

I know, it's been said before, but I think I may be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I can't explain why, but suddenly I'm hearing things that I believe in my core are true. So far, two things have enlightened me: my meds are PREVENTING weight loss and my whole idea of what is skinny food is wrong. Who knew?

#1: I'm going to work myself off of the acid reflux meds. I guess that, while they turn off the acid, the acid is necessary to break down our food. Without breaking it down, I'm not getting what I need, nutritionally, so I remain hungry. They say a teaspoon (God, I hope it was only a teaspoon) of Apple Cider Vinegar before each meal will work better than the meds. Here's to health! Starting the vinegar tomorrow.

#2:  I've already started to s-l-o-w-l-y wean myself from sugars and carbs. I only heard the author talk on the radio, but I'm buying her book, Primal Body, Primal Mind.

Meanwhile, a slow weaning was recommended, so I'm thinking that I'll only buy proteins and above-ground veggies (started that tonight) and finish off the carbs in the pantry. It will take awhile. That's ok ... I don't do withdrawals. In the long run, though, I'd much rather live without bread than stay fat. It's all good. She also said that, with the proper fats in my system, I'll be far less tired and more alert. More likely to actually GO to the gym!

For the record, I've been MIA because of a wonderful vacation on a cruise ship. You heard me. The all-you-can-eat-boat. Truth be known, I think that's where I started to put this together. I was forced to eat regular dinners (Versus my FAVORITE ... cereal. We're often addicted to the very foods we should avoid.). I felt so much less bloated after a week, even with dessert and wine. Hmmm, I said. That cereal may be posing a problem. D'ya think?

My exercise was off prior to the cruise. I pulled my subpectoral on the eliptical, then really did it in pilates. I haven't been to the gym, since. It's just starting to feel ok, though I'm still doing the Aleve.

53 Days Left to This New Habit

And ... not really 53 days, since I took the 3rd day off. Wed was Step class, the next day was Treading Thursday on the eliptical, and Friday I was immobilized. One leg still doesn't want to do anything (why not both, I wonder?). Today, however, I shall walk it off. I'm sure that will help.

The question is, is it legal to continue my countdown, if I took a day? Or, do I have to start over?

Day 4 or is it Day 3?

I'm so grateful to everyone who is undergoing the same learning process. Diane, at Loser for Soup, just posted some great inspiration. Gracias. And the Ridge alums on FB are great! This isn't a fix-it-and-be-done process, obviously. I'm good with that so long as I'm not alone.

1/4 of the Way to a New Habit ... Or, So I Thought!

Biggest Loser FB entry talked about it taking 6-8 weeks for something new to become a habit. I've had a GOOD 2 weeks on the exercising (see my calendar of honesty). Thank you BLR for reminding me that it will not feel normal for a while, yet.<< Oh, my GOSH!! Talk about honesty! I just tested the calendar link and saw what it looked like to the public, without the rest of my schedule filling-in every freaking minute of the days. There were my meager little attempts to move 2-3 days/week, just staring me in the face! Swear ... I really thought I was being good! Well, no wonder I have a problem!>>

If I had the cash, I'd check in at the Ridge for the 6-8 weeks and get this habit going! I probably shouldn't have done the Hawaii thing, but too late.

I'm off to find my abs ... then I'll be sure to record it on the calendar of smack-yourself-in-the-face-honesty.

Ok, So I'm Not an Inspiration

We all go through tough motivational ups and downs. I am marching on!

My decision to re-up at BLR lasted about a day. I really got myself out there and moving, thinking I had a long way to go to get myself back into enough shape to go get in shape. Then, a strange thing happened on the way to the registration button ... I realized I could do it myself, because I WAS doing it myself. I could put the money elsewhere.

Some friends and I are cruising Hawaii during Thanksgiving, instead. I can't wait, but here's the downside. I stopped moving! What the HECK is wrong with me? Was it knowing I wasn't going to get beat up at the ridge, or do I just always quit after a few days? Here's what I do know. I spend waaaaaaaay too much time on work, but not because I'm so conscientious, though I am. It's really because I love, love, love all things computer, so I just keep dawdling.

Who let HER in here?

GIVING UP?

Today I entertained a total giving up on this whole thing. I'm so incredibly tired everyday that I'm not moving and, because I'm not moving, I'm more tired. I would have to go to bed at 7:30 to get a full 8 hours, and I have an 8-hour body. Staying at work until 5ish every night isn't helping. I left by 3:30 today, but only because I knew I had the whole weekend to work. I don't know what I'm going to do about this.

I almost signed up for another week at BLR during Thanksgiving, and I still may. I NEED to get back into it! It's just so hard, when your head is foggy. Something has got to happen, quickly.

Grammi isn't very happy with herself.

... AND THEN THE NEW SCHOOL YEAR STARTED

Help! I've totally destroyed any good habits that were created this summer. The new year hit and I was back to getting up at 4, being constantly exhausted, and having appointments or meetings or simply class-related work until I couldn't think anymore. If I skipped the gym (usually), I beat myself up. If I went (RARELY), I was in horrible shape the next day due to lack of sleep. It wasn't just the hour spent working out, but that invigoration would keep me from crashing by 8pm. And so, another less than adequate night.

Four weeks into the new year and even the weekends have been solidly booked. Today, I managed to finish my grading and planning on Saturday. Mind you, I'm still in my jammies and the house is a wreck, but my school work is DONE. With a positive attitude, I'm going into tomorrow as a normal person who wants to move it in order to feel good. Our lovely weather has been over 100 and humid, but I'll set the alarm and get out there early. I really can't wait. Really!

My "message" for today was: All reform is from within however restricted your circumstances. Look inside yourself to see something not in order. Seek to right that. Honest. I didn't make that up. PS: Even weirder! My tired eyes came from a site titled "No Excuse Sunday".