Yesterday was a lucky day. I had a mirror held up to my face from start to finish.
First, I was up and in the gym at 4:30. That's AM, folks. Good thing, right there, but it gets better. I met with my new trainer (yes, another good thing!) and, as she was asking me questions about my eating and exercising habits, I found myself telling her these great things: I eat healthy foods, only ... I walk 2 miles almost everyday ... I'm doing Weight Watchers ... etc. Now that I think about it, she must have been cracking up inside, hearing this from a large bodied woman. She's very nice, though, and didn't let on that I was a walking anomaly. She just suggested that I change my thinking to positive expectations. Wow. I don't have a positive expectation? No, I guess I don't, come to think of it. But wait, folks, we're not done.
Later, in my FaceBook group, someone was begging for help because she had gotten so off-track with her weight-loss. I simply replied that, oh well, some of us will ALWAYS be working on it ... just get back on track again. Now, I was thinking that's a nice reply. Really. I was. I got schooled by the next guy who basically told me I'd never lose if I didn't quit thinking that way.
The day culminated in my therapist's office (a scheduled visit, not because of FaceBook) where she pretty much told me I didn't come across as a positive, happy person. What??? Me??? Of course, I'm in there for a specific issue which isn't particularly happy, so it does make some sense that I wouldn't be a bubbly bundle of joy when we talk. Still, she doesn't see the positive me at all? Mirror, mirror, on the wall ...
I have lost the power of positive thinking! When did that happen? I used to have it (and I used to be thinner!). Somehow, I've conned myself into thinking I'm still upbeat, happy, and quite the optimist, when I'm actually portraying a whole different image. Why are we the last to know these things about ourselves?
Goals! I'm setting improvement goals (therapist's suggestion) that aren't locked into a number, but just saying that I will improve in the healthy areas. I'm resetting my mental image of my physical me. I'm NOT going to succumb to a life of dieting. This is a fix-it period and then I will continue with healthy eating, but the point-counting, etc. won't be necessary. Well, that's a relief, right there!
The universe speaks to us. Sometimes it takes three messengers to get our attention, but it does speak. Goodbye, negativity!