My altered expectations (just strive to improve) worked! Scales said -5 pounds. Groovy, groovy, groovy! Not only that, but I slightly changed my set workout plans so that they made more sense, and it was way easier to do what I'd set out to do each day! Not only that, but I was thinking I'd do the gym at 4:30 am once a month (trainer days), but I actually liked it! I'm in there twice a week at the crack of nothing and bam! ... done for the whole freaking day! Not only that, but I made a little Google app/form for my trainer's circuit and it's so darned easy to do and follow. Not only that, but I got to "spend" my extra WW points last night and I did it by just eating healthy food!
I'm pleased with myself on so many levels this week! It's a joy to have shed the weird attitude I was portraying. I have no reason to hide the fact that I really love my life. Therapy will have to uncover why it was that I was doing that, but in the meantime, it is done!
About having a trainer: SO happy I did that! It is too tempting for me to jump into things I used to do, decades ago, and limp away with an injury. She has set out a plan for me to ease into things again. I can "feel" it, but it isn't a debilitating pain. It's perfect. Makes me actually look forward to going into the gym again.