End of Summer

Still August, but our summer has technically ended and we're back in school, even though it's hotter than Hades. And now it's time to confess my sins. I have lived, unchecked, for two glorious months.

Yep, it has been glorious. Wine tasting, frozen yogurt, pasta ... pretty much what I wanted, when I wanted. Oh, and the gym? Yeah, I haven't been more than two or three times all summer. Why am I so flip? Because I'm good with it.

I LIVED this summer. Don't get me wrong. I didn't live to eat. I ate to live. But I truly had a summer and I enjoyed every single day. No regrets. Yes, I will have expanded, I'm sure, but I'll face that like a big girl. To be honest, the jeans are not as loose, but they're not tight. I'm okay.

High in the mountains with fun folks and beautiful views

So here we go. Back in the saddle with a smile on my face and some really fine memories.

We Are the Champions ♬

Muhammad Ali - "Winning is a good thing, but some may call it luck, or a fluke. So win, then win again, then win again, and again...then they must call you a champion!"

Thank you, Champ! As you (all five of you) may have seen, I've been learning this lesson and it just looks so good to see it was a mantra for someone who clearly was a champion. I just had to let you all know ... we're doing okay.

Just a wee update ... a conference in San Diego meant terrible food choices, but one hell of a lot of walking. I mean a LOT. My hotel was a mile from the action and the convention center there is the biggest thing I've EVER seen! Thank God for walking flip flops (Skechers). So, good and bad probably evened it all out. Back home, now, and back at the gym with a long walk scheduled for today. Oh well, all of that is on my calendar.

To all of us! Champions in the making!

Battle for the Throne

Today's sermon will be on keeping on. I just read Diane's Loser for Soup blog. She mistakenly thought SHE was the Queen of Starting Over. Silly girl. That would be me.

If you have been reading this silly blog, you have noticed that I seem to start over every single time I blog. There's a reason for that. If I'm not quite disgusted enough to start over, I'm sure as heck not going to come on here and say, "Hi all. Just wanted to touch base. Off to have a hot fudge sundae!"

On the positive side, I DO start over and I'm coming to terms with that. For the first time in a long, long time, I'm making headway. In the past, say, year I've lost over 30 pounds. This is remarkable! It hasn't been fast, but it has been pretty painless. The reason is I take breaks and then I start over. I don't beat myself up. I enjoy what I'm willing to eat and I skip what I'm not really, really going to enjoy. It's working. I've been travelling this summer, so frankly, I've been using my conscience as a guide. The results haven't been great, so I'm going back to keeping track. (For the record, Amtrak makes killer desserts, but they don't offer a lot of exercise space.)

This morning my trainer and I were talking about what it takes to lose. She called it a tripod. You need all three points for it to stand. Diet - Resistance - Cardio .  Not just one or two. All three. So, so much for telling myself that a cookie won't hurt if I walk a couple of miles. Side note: If the cookie is something I REALLY want, I shall have it, but I will log it. Logging seems to be key, though I hate to admit it. I've been doing the Weight Watchers mobile app, which is fairly easy. You can just skip veggies and fruits, since they have no point value, so it cuts down on your logging time. There's another app that I haven't played with yet that shows you the approximate calories from a picture that you take with the phone. Now, that sounds too good to be true, but I'm going to try it.

Bottom line: I'm starting over. Again. On all three legs. Even queens need stability.

ONEderland!

This new way of looking at weight loss is THE BOMB! I just keep striving to do better and I keep actually getting better! Since I only weigh-in once a month, I was hopeful because I could see an improvement, but it didn't dawn on me that I actually could drop below the barrier that has been my nemesis since like forEVER. It's so good to be back!

I've altered my workout schedule a bit, but in the long run, I think I'm coming out ahead because I don't skip. While I'm working, I workout every 1.5 days, rather than everyday. It's amazing how much more doable that is! I can walk at night, then hit the gym at 4:30am a day and a half later. It's fantastic. I've also given up on trying to run. At least for now. The resulting pains just weren't worth it. I have quickened my walking pace. I'm all the way up to a 21-min mile. Hey, that beats my 24 minute ones in the beginning!

So, if you've been starting over again and again, trust me ... it will eventually work. I started over for over 10 years and I'm finally allowing it to work. And it is working! It is!

Yep, It Works

My altered expectations (just strive to improve) worked! Scales said -5 pounds. Groovy, groovy, groovy! Not only that, but I slightly changed my set workout plans so that they made more sense, and it was way easier to do what I'd set out to do each day! Not only that, but I was thinking I'd do the gym at 4:30 am once a month (trainer days), but I actually liked it! I'm in there twice a week at the crack of nothing and bam! ... done for the whole freaking day! Not only that, but I made a little Google app/form for my trainer's circuit and it's so darned easy to do and follow. Not only that, but I got to "spend" my extra WW points last night and I did it by just eating healthy food!

I'm pleased with myself on so many levels this week! It's a joy to have shed the weird attitude I was portraying. I have no reason to hide the fact that I really love my life. Therapy will have to uncover why it was that I was doing that, but in the meantime, it is done!

About having a trainer: SO happy I did that! It is too tempting for me to jump into things I used to do, decades ago, and limp away with an injury. She has set out a plan for me to ease into things again. I can "feel" it, but it isn't a debilitating pain. It's perfect. Makes me actually look forward to going into the gym again.

Ding Dong, the Bitch is Dead!

Yesterday was a lucky day. I had a mirror held up to my face from start to finish.

First, I was up and in the gym at 4:30. That's AM, folks. Good thing, right there, but it gets better. I met with my new trainer (yes, another good thing!) and, as she was asking me questions about my eating and exercising habits, I found myself telling her these great things: I eat healthy foods, only ... I walk 2 miles almost everyday ... I'm doing Weight Watchers ... etc. Now that I think about it, she must have been cracking up inside, hearing this from a large bodied woman. She's very nice, though, and didn't let on that I was a walking anomaly. She just suggested that I change my thinking to positive expectations. Wow. I don't have a positive expectation? No, I guess I don't, come to think of it. But wait, folks, we're not done.

Later, in my FaceBook group, someone was begging for help because she had gotten so off-track with her weight-loss. I simply replied that, oh well, some of us will ALWAYS be working on it ... just get back on track again. Now, I was thinking that's a nice reply. Really. I was. I got schooled by the next guy who basically told me I'd never lose if I didn't quit thinking that way.

The day culminated in my therapist's office (a scheduled visit, not because of FaceBook) where she pretty much told me I didn't come across as a positive, happy person. What??? Me??? Of course, I'm in there for a specific issue which isn't particularly happy, so it does make some sense that I wouldn't be a bubbly bundle of joy when we talk. Still, she doesn't see the positive me at all? Mirror, mirror, on the wall ...

I have lost the power of positive thinking! When did that happen? I used to have it (and I used to be thinner!). Somehow, I've conned myself into thinking I'm still upbeat, happy, and quite the optimist, when I'm actually portraying a whole different image. Why are we the last to know these things about ourselves?

Goals! I'm setting improvement goals (therapist's suggestion) that aren't locked into a number, but just saying that I will improve in the healthy areas. I'm resetting my mental image of my physical me. I'm NOT going to succumb to a life of dieting. This is a fix-it period and then I will continue with healthy eating, but the point-counting, etc. won't be necessary. Well, that's a relief, right there!

The universe speaks to us. Sometimes it takes three messengers to get our attention, but it does speak. Goodbye, negativity!

Was That Over a Month Ago?

Oy. My NO EXCUSES post was more than a month ago? Seems like last week. So, did I stick to it? I'd say yes, but it has been A MONTH! I'm not the quickest bunny in the patch. Here is what I have done:

• Tracked food and activity in Weight Watchers
• Made modifications to the foods I normally eat, so they will fit into the tracker
• Signed up for a personal trainer
• Had my first evaluation meeting (including measurements and weight!)
• Walked at least 2 miles/day most days

Here is what I haven't done:

• Have not hit the gym, once, outside of the evaluation
• Have not pushed myself in toning or cardio
• Have not used my two week vacation time well

Now, looking at the list, I see that I do like to beat myself up. Sure, I could have done a whole lot more, but my "dids" are bigger than my "didn'ts" and I need to get excited about that. As for the second list, shoot ... I'll just do them! Plan A: plan my gym time in advance to include toning/cardio. I can do that.