Grammi, your weight is ...

I'm no longer in onederland. The good news is that I must be on Team Dolvett, because I have the red shirt. I'm going to actually publish my weight. If anyone is reading this, I want you to know that this is the single most difficult thing I have ever done. How insane is it that I have always kept my weight secret, when anyone with eyes can see it? Putting the true number out there is such a big deal to me. This time, however, I am not going to think. I'm just doing. Since my heart wasn't into this go-round, I figure that thinking will only get in the way.

So, here's the plan for the week: Sleep eight hours plus per night. Don't judge. I'm taking this in pieces. A lack of sleep is my number one enemy. Because I wake up at 4am during the school week, I NEED to structure my days so that I can actually fall asleep at 8pm. That means heading for bed even earlier. Oy. This is going to be tough! It's absolutely necessary, though. I eat sugars to keep myself awake and alert.

I also need to move when I wake up. The treadmill would be ideal, but I'm going to combine the need to fit more into my shorter days with moving ... 20 minutes of house cleaning. Sexy, isn't it? I've been doing the 20 minutes/day of cleaning plan for awhile, now, and I really like it. The only problem is that it's so darned hard to do that after a day at work. It was easy during vacation. Therefore, by moving it to my 4am wake-up, I will be knocking off one less chore and actually moving. This will cut into my FaceBook time, so I'll have to suffer through that.

I can devote less time to breakfast by having my oatmeal and coffee all made ahead of time. I'm doing this on the weekend with overnight oatmeal in the crockpot and making full pots of coffee on both days. I have enough of both to get me through the work week.

Sleep, clean, and admit my weight. Nothing is fun about this.

Checking In

What shall I call my make believe BL experience? The ranch, like they do? But it won't be as intense, so no. The ranchette? Done.

So I have checked in at the ranchette. Curiously, I appear to be the only one here. Odd. To begin, I have kicked the experience off with a little spa treatment. This is something I need to schedule, regularly!

Tomorrow, I weigh in. Gulp.

C.A.R.E.

Lost. For the first time in decades, I feel completely lost in weight loss land. I've never had a problem CARING before, but now I do. I'm gaining weight and losing muscle. I'm busy. I'm enjoying. I'm just not caring about the weight.

Therapy is beginning to tap into what is going on/has been going on with me on this topic since childhood. We found a "nugget" last week that she says will be a springboard for our next meeting. I hope so. I'm sick of the failure.

I didn't want to post this because it's the opposite of what this blog is supposed to even be about. Then again, it is part of the process, so on it goes. Meanwhile, I'm going to force the issue. I'm going to get back into doing it, even if I'm not feeling it. I had a crazy idea as I was watching The Biggest Loser. Since I'm a huge (double meaning) fan and I got to attend the premiere this season, where they gave us a T-Shirt, I could play pretend. If I pretend to care, maybe I will!

Stay tuned. I'm hoping I can fake it to reality.

Lesson from Housecleaning Tips ... Seriously!

Fun hike with camping buddies in September

So, that foot doctor doesn't believe that fat chicks can hike. Sad truth is, I don't hike much, but not for a lack of loving to do it. It's about being overwhelmed with things to do.

Lately, I've been aching to have more fun like I did last summer. (There's a song there, isn't there?) Once school starts, my weekends are consumed with grading and lesson plans and MAYBE, just MAYBE some house cleaning. This ain't livin'! And getting to the gym or even walking has proven to be too time-consuming. So I have been begging the universe to show me how to do it.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon a very simple plan on the web. Clean the house in 20 minutes a day. Hmm ... I'm thinking that doesn't just apply to cleaning. Lose weight one pound at a time .... exercise 30 min a day .... do it all a wee bit at a time.

The cleaning plan is pretty cool. I convinced myself that I could do yesterday's "assigned" chore before bed, even though I was pooped. After all, it's only 20 minutes! It was great to wake up to a fairly clean feeling (it will take a month to catch up completely).

I'm limiting my at-home "work" to small time periods, too. Finished or not. Leave school by 4:30 (that's an 9-hr day) and just get the lessons done on the weekend for the upcoming week. Period.

Exercise, even if it's just my old-broad's two mile walk, EVERY day. Like we have to eat. I HAVE to move.

This trek I'm on is not an all or nothing thing like it is for Biggest Loser contestants. Then it's a mission, for sure. I'm not there (though I wouldn't turn down the opp!). I'm here. With house, work, bills, etc. I need to work it out in a balance. That said, I did get to go to this season's premiere! Very fun experience and I may jump on the new challenge. I sat right behind one of the new contestants, so I'm invested in her and shall root for her in January. Dolvett, however, didn't even feel the vibes I was sending him. He never once looked out at the crowd in search of me. Ah, sigh. I'll always have an old-lady crush on him. The pic is a spoiler, but I won't give any more away.

End of Summer

Still August, but our summer has technically ended and we're back in school, even though it's hotter than Hades. And now it's time to confess my sins. I have lived, unchecked, for two glorious months.

Yep, it has been glorious. Wine tasting, frozen yogurt, pasta ... pretty much what I wanted, when I wanted. Oh, and the gym? Yeah, I haven't been more than two or three times all summer. Why am I so flip? Because I'm good with it.

I LIVED this summer. Don't get me wrong. I didn't live to eat. I ate to live. But I truly had a summer and I enjoyed every single day. No regrets. Yes, I will have expanded, I'm sure, but I'll face that like a big girl. To be honest, the jeans are not as loose, but they're not tight. I'm okay.

High in the mountains with fun folks and beautiful views

So here we go. Back in the saddle with a smile on my face and some really fine memories.

We Are the Champions ♬

Muhammad Ali - "Winning is a good thing, but some may call it luck, or a fluke. So win, then win again, then win again, and again...then they must call you a champion!"

Thank you, Champ! As you (all five of you) may have seen, I've been learning this lesson and it just looks so good to see it was a mantra for someone who clearly was a champion. I just had to let you all know ... we're doing okay.

Just a wee update ... a conference in San Diego meant terrible food choices, but one hell of a lot of walking. I mean a LOT. My hotel was a mile from the action and the convention center there is the biggest thing I've EVER seen! Thank God for walking flip flops (Skechers). So, good and bad probably evened it all out. Back home, now, and back at the gym with a long walk scheduled for today. Oh well, all of that is on my calendar.

To all of us! Champions in the making!

Battle for the Throne

Today's sermon will be on keeping on. I just read Diane's Loser for Soup blog. She mistakenly thought SHE was the Queen of Starting Over. Silly girl. That would be me.

If you have been reading this silly blog, you have noticed that I seem to start over every single time I blog. There's a reason for that. If I'm not quite disgusted enough to start over, I'm sure as heck not going to come on here and say, "Hi all. Just wanted to touch base. Off to have a hot fudge sundae!"

On the positive side, I DO start over and I'm coming to terms with that. For the first time in a long, long time, I'm making headway. In the past, say, year I've lost over 30 pounds. This is remarkable! It hasn't been fast, but it has been pretty painless. The reason is I take breaks and then I start over. I don't beat myself up. I enjoy what I'm willing to eat and I skip what I'm not really, really going to enjoy. It's working. I've been travelling this summer, so frankly, I've been using my conscience as a guide. The results haven't been great, so I'm going back to keeping track. (For the record, Amtrak makes killer desserts, but they don't offer a lot of exercise space.)

This morning my trainer and I were talking about what it takes to lose. She called it a tripod. You need all three points for it to stand. Diet - Resistance - Cardio .  Not just one or two. All three. So, so much for telling myself that a cookie won't hurt if I walk a couple of miles. Side note: If the cookie is something I REALLY want, I shall have it, but I will log it. Logging seems to be key, though I hate to admit it. I've been doing the Weight Watchers mobile app, which is fairly easy. You can just skip veggies and fruits, since they have no point value, so it cuts down on your logging time. There's another app that I haven't played with yet that shows you the approximate calories from a picture that you take with the phone. Now, that sounds too good to be true, but I'm going to try it.

Bottom line: I'm starting over. Again. On all three legs. Even queens need stability.